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Cycling Humor

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Heaven for Cyclists

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A dedicated cyclist dies and goes to heaven.  Waiting for him at the gate is St. Peter.  The first thing the cyclists asks is if there are bikes in heaven.

“Of course,” says St. Peter, “come with me and I’ll show you,” He leads the cyclist into the most beautifully exquisite velodrome you could possibly imagine.

“This is amazing,” the cyclist says.

“It certainly is,” says St. Peter. “You will have a custom bike and the best cycling clothes anyone could hope for, and your personal masseuse will always available.”

As they are talking, they hear an amazing roar and are nearly swept off their feet by a huge gust of wind as something just sped by them on the boards riding a gold plated bike.

“Wow!” the cyclist exclaims. “That guy was amazingly fast, it must have been Lance Armstrong!”

“No,” says St. Peter, “that was God on the bike, he only thinks he’s Lance”.

Pig!

Comments (1)

I was speeding down a narrow, twisting, mountain road. The woman was driving very slowly uphill, honking her horn and shouting at me: “PIG! PIG!!”. I flipped her the finger and shouted back “BITCH! COW!!”….Then I collided with the pig!